Every person has pain points. These are those painful things that are associated with various aspects of life, his traumatic experience, personal beliefs and attitudes, and attitude towards something. For example, a person tragically lost a child. Now his sore spot is the memory of the deceased baby, mentions of him in conversation, personal belongings that the parent could not throw away or give away.

A sore spot is a memory associated with a person’s negative experiences that still affect her life.

Accordingly, human behavior is determined by the desire (conscious or subconscious) to avoid exposure to one’s weak point. If, for example, a woman is short, she will tend to wear high heels. If a man earns little, he will try to avoid topics about money.

It is important to note that human behavior and the mechanism of avoiding or compensating for a “shortcoming” will be activated if the person perceives it as a shortcoming or negative. If someone sings poorly, but sees nothing wrong with it, then conversations on this topic or jokes from friends will have no influence. Thus, the lack of an ear for music or a voice is simply a lack of skill or ability, but not a defect in the understanding of the person himself.

It should be noted that pain points also tend to be divided by gender. It is known that women are more likely to have complexes because of their external characteristics and the degree of their attractiveness to men. Men, in turn, have complexes about their masculinity, self-confidence, material security, and success. The severity of the complex is individual for everyone. When in close contact with people or in an emotionally close relationship with a partner, it is impossible to hide your sore spots from your partner. In any case, men's complexes are mainly built on injured pride either in the past or in the present.

Self-love is a sense of self-esteem associated with excessive attention to one’s own person.

A proud man is one who is “confident” in himself and demands a demonstration of this confidence from others.

The paradox is that a narcissist shows self-admiration and confidence in every possible way, but by demanding confirmation from the people around him, he demonstrates low self-esteem. This is something that proud men often get caught up in.

So, a wise woman will always see a man’s weak point and, if necessary, can play with it.
If you want to play with a man’s pride, hurt him a little or as much as possible, the following tips will certainly help.

Decide on your motivation

Naturally, a woman will not hurt a man’s ego without reason. This means he did something wrong somewhere, did something wrong. I didn’t please you so much that I wanted to punish him. But!

Before resorting to immediate revenge, you should think about your motivation and the consequences, which, I assure you, will happen. Such an analysis should be based on your attitude to the man’s personality and desire to build a relationship with him.

If a man is dear to you, you love him and want to be together, then the options for hurting his pride will be different than in the case when a woman is not particularly interested in a man and she does not plan to continue the relationship with him.

If you love a guy, then NEVER use his pain points as revenge. In the case of low male self-esteem, this can lead to a break in the relationship instantly.

The task of a young lady is to help a man cultivate self-confidence, and not to crush it because of his resentment. The resentment will pass, but the male complex will remain. Your beloved will not say “Thank you” for this, and it is unworthy of a lady.

If a woman is not interested in a man and is ready to break up with him, then putting pressure on the sore spot is just what the doctor ordered!

Ignore him

At all times, ignoring is considered the most effective way to offend.

If you want to gently convey to your beloved man: “You shouldn’t treat me like you did, honey,” then ignore his basic needs. NOT PAIN POINTS, but other significant needs. Oh, you were rude to me in the morning, then I won’t cook food or wash clothes. Or talk to you for 3 days.

If you want to offend someone who is not close or loved, then you can ignore it as much as possible. Do not answer phone calls or messages. Don't respond to requests or words at all.

The lack of feedback from a woman will hurt anyone, even the most impenetrable.

But maximum ignorance is fraught, mainly, with separation. If you don’t want to keep a guy in your life, go for it! Men don't forget to ignore.

Compare with others

No one likes to be compared to others, especially men. Especially if they compare the women they love, hinting at an outright loss in favor of others.

Comparisons with exes or simply other men are another of the most effective ways.

Your friend Nikita has a cool haircut, but what’s on your head, God forgive me?!

Make fun of him in bed

No one will miss jokes about his sexuality and ability to satisfy a woman. You can ridicule his masculine strength, penis size, some technical skills.

Women with low self-esteem often turn to me for help, which I have long called self-esteem. And all because only those who are not okay with it are concerned with the issue of self-esteem. People who are confident in themselves don’t think about it at all; they have a lot of other important things to do that require close attention.

People are like mirrors

A woman with self-esteem always has difficulties in relationships. And not only with men, but also with women. Her low self-esteem causes real damage to her interactions with other people. After all, people usually perceive us as we consider ourselves. Therefore, your shyness and insecurity determines how other people will act towards you.
As a rule, people with low self-esteem have similar elements of behavior. For example, a lack of self-esteem causes a woman to be overly subservient to others at the expense of herself. Such a woman, as a rule, cannot say “no” for fear of causing offense. Often she does not live by her own goals, and at the same time feels unhappy and used. But in reality, people behave towards you the way you allow them to. It is clear that behind such a woman’s behavior lies the fear of being bad for others, the fear of being rejected. But for some reason the world is structured in such a way that what you fear most happens happens. A woman is afraid of being rejected, and she is constantly rejected, or she is rejected. The circle usually closes for such people.
And, of course, low self-esteem has a direct bearing on a woman’s ability to retain and attract a man. A woman considers herself ugly, unworthy, stupid and other “NOTs”. At the same time, she demands constant confirmation of the opposite from the man - that she is smart, beautiful, worthy, etc. Well, who can endure this for long?

Where does everything come from...

As practice shows, in a woman with low self-esteem, the roots of insecurity grow from childhood. This could be overly strict parenting, in which hyper-criticism prevailed over praise and approval. It could simply be a lack of love. If a girl was constantly told that she was bad at something, was given little encouragement, and was not raised to be confident, it is not surprising that she adopted this parental view of herself. And later becoming an adult woman, she is convinced that she deserves little in this life. My clients with low self-esteem often repeat the phrase “I’m not worthy.”
In addition, a child’s ideas about herself can be colored by negative impressions not only from her family, but also from her peers, if she was teased or called unpleasant names by classmates. Recently, one client recalled how the boys from her class told her that she was scary and that she had ugly eyes. So many years have passed, but at 34 years old, she still believes in it, despite the fact that many men tell her the exact opposite.

Did someone hit you?

Of course, even a confident woman can suffer from damaged self-esteem if she fails in an area of ​​her relationship that is important to her. Failures at work or a break in a relationship with a man reduce not only your mood, but also your self-confidence.
Probably almost every person has received a blow to their pride at least once in their life. If this happened to you, do not rush to become aggressive and prove that you are right. As a rule, this is how people who feel insecure behave. Your excessive criticism of others as an attempt to restore the lost balance will lead to the opposite effect - you will simply completely destroy the relationship.
Does a man often yell at you? Why does he often yell at you? Think about this question. Maybe he is thus trying to convey to you some information that you do not see or hear in any other way? Before you rush into the breach and prove that you are “not a camel,” think about the fact that every person can be different - both right and wrong, including yourself.
So, you received a blow to your pride, and it turned out to be severe? What to do? First of all, you need to try to look at this event as an insignificant part of your huge and long life. Take a bird's eye view, rise above the situation and look at other aspects of your life. After all, there is something else where you are sure to be successful! And then concentrate your attention on that area. This will help you regain your self-esteem faster. For example, did you fail in your relationship with a man? Great, now you have the time and opportunity to make a breakthrough in your career and creativity. One of my clients, after a breakup, discovered such a powerful creative flow in herself that she did not expect this from herself. Now he makes amazing compositions, and the goal has appeared to change his job.
After a blow to one’s self-esteem in the personal or professional sphere, a desire may arise to take on some other business. This seems like the best way to heal wounds. But such a choice may not always lead to success. Before starting something new, you should first restore your emotional balance, and then think about new goals.

Believing in yourself works wonders

Believe in yourself, and this belief will be passed on to others. But first, just start trusting yourself. Trust what your eyes and other senses see. You don't need to trust (trust yourself) to someone. Only you know the truth, and your intuition cannot let you down if you listen to it. One day, a friend complained that she was terribly afraid of the men she liked. Her hands and feet immediately become cold, and she feels the urge to run without looking back. On the one hand, of course, such a reaction can be attributed to extreme uncertainty and low self-esteem. But if you look from the other side? Maybe your intuition is signaling you, so this is not your person, run away from him?
Believe in your attractiveness and uniqueness. An insecure woman is weak in the art of making a man believe that she is worthy of acquaintance. And here dependence on the opinions of other people plays a key role. There is no need to get stuck worrying about what other people think of you. I assure you, no one thinks anything about you, everyone thinks, first of all, about themselves. Instead of spinning thoughts in your head “what did he think”, “did he like me”, think about what you thought and whether you liked him. And if you are communicating with someone at this particular moment, concentrate your attention on the process of communication, on the very situation in which you are “here and now.”

Social activity as a cure for uncertainty

If you feel like you're a weak communicator, the best way to overcome your inferiority complex is to start communicating even more. For example, more than half of my clients went through a dating site precisely because there was a necessary need to gain the skill of free communication with men. And now almost all of these clients are married. No, not at all for men from a dating site. It was just a stage, a stepping stone to achieve results.
Accordingly, getting involved in social activities is an excellent way to improve your self-esteem.

Relationship with YOURSELF

But the most important change that should happen to every insecure woman is a change in attitude towards herself. And here the first rule is – stop criticizing yourself! Start praising yourself! Praise yourself for literally everything, congratulate yourself on small and large achievements, and be positive even towards failures, thinking that you have gained another experience.
Do not strive to achieve the ideal, because all ideals are a super task for your subconscious. The subconscious knows for sure that if there is an ideal, then the goal is unattainable. Change your mindset from negative to positive: “I am worthy, I am confident, I can.” Start catching negative, demeaning thoughts and observing them. And then just switch the “toggle switch”! Self-love is what gives us strength. This is our Self (please do not confuse it with selfishness, which is similar to egocentrism). When a woman has SELF-LOVE, she develops love for another person.

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Such a quality as self-love is expressed in several components: first of all, it is an overly inflated opinion of oneself and one’s own capabilities, which is directly related to self-esteem, as well as an overly jealous attitude towards one’s own personality and an overly sensitive attitude towards its assessment by other individuals.

Self-love, in principle, exists in every person, but it is expressed to varying degrees. At the same time, excessively high pride, which can even result in so-called “narcissism,” is considered wrong. Such people are too sensitive to criticism addressed to them on any matter, even the smallest matter. They also tend to feel too strongly and deeply about the refusal of a particular request. It is worth noting that excessive pride can lead to serious consequences when an individual feels too insulted without any adequate reason and can harbor serious revenge.

Hurt pride

Man is a unique and inimitable being. Even within their own society, each individual is a unique personality. We all have our own personal traits of appearance and character, a unique combination of qualities, advantages, and disadvantages. But at the same time, each person has something in common. In particular, we all have a sense of pride to one degree or another.

It is impossible to say unequivocally whether the very presence of pride is something good or bad. Psychologists consider this phenomenon as a special property of the human psyche, which allows an individual to preserve his individuality, things and qualities that are relevant to him. In other words, this is one of those properties that underlie an individual’s desire for development, self-improvement, and increasing his value in society.

But is the feeling of self-esteem really such a good incentive to work on yourself? In this matter, everything is not so simple, because the severity of pride and its manifestation in each individual is very unique. Some are inclined to believe that pride is a good reason for maintaining self-esteem in its adequate state, while others believe that it is nothing more than a negative quality that leads to an exaggeration of the importance of one’s own “I”. In any case, it is worth noting that both assumptions have a place to be, since pride is indeed capable of manifesting itself in various variations. Adequate self-esteem, as well as a positive assessment of others from the outside, contribute to more persistent self-improvement, but negative criticism, failures and condemnation can cause hurt pride.

In reality, not all of us can calmly tolerate negative comments about ourselves from the outside. All this depends on the character of the person, his beliefs and other unique factors of his psyche. Nevertheless, the ability to adequately perceive constructive comments, even if in a negative way, is a very important quality. We all react differently to comments in general: someone gets very irritated and starts a quarrel, denying them in every possible way, someone silently swallows the insult, someone’s self-esteem suffers greatly.

If you have become a victim of completely unfounded criticism or simply insult directed at you, then it is best to take the simple advice of psychologists: ignore, accept what the offender said as something that has already happened, move on with your life, without attaching much importance to such things, because they do not change you in any way and your personality. It is worth noting that in general, man is a social being and, therefore, is very dependent on social opinion. The slightest praise can elevate us in our own eyes, but criticism or insult can forever discourage further attempts to achieve something. In this case, pride should be considered as a kind of “catalyst” for decisions made and actions taken, but not as a motivation for their formation.

It is very easy to offend a person with inadequate, inflated pride. This is, in fact, their distinguishing feature. Sometimes one word is enough, even if it does not carry any intentional connotation or negative connotation, a narcissistic person is able to find them. At the same time, it is worth distinguishing between pride, which can lead to the development of egocentrism, and the desire to be first. The latter is a completely normal quality that is inherent in every person and should normally develop. Of course, if it does not go beyond the limits of adequacy.

Wounded pride

In itself, too much pride is not something dangerous, but it is a completely different matter if wounded pride develops, to which it can lead. This is bad because a person with such self-esteem has a very difficult time accepting criticism addressed to him, no matter in what form it is presented; in general, it is difficult for him to control himself and adequately perceive the comments made to him. Everything said is taken too seriously, especially if the comments and criticism turned out to be not so constructive.

It is very important to develop the ability to respond correctly to criticism addressed to you. First of all, you should evaluate the criticism and make sure that you really have something in you that deserves this kind of comment. At the same time, if someone recognizes the right of others to criticize him, then he can also demand compliance with a number of his rights from others. In particular, criticism of someone's personality should not become public knowledge and, as a rule, it is customary to utter it in a private conversation.

Here are some tips from psychologists on how best to behave in such situations:

• If you do not understand the essence of criticism directed at you, it is best to ask the person to clarify what exactly he means rather than try to make some guesses on your own.
• It is also important to be able to distinguish the content of criticism, that is, its essence, from its external form. Which she is wearing. The very essence of the criticism may be fair, but at the same time you may not like exactly the way it is presented. In such a situation, it is better to immediately say directly: “Your criticism is fair, but you should not get personal.”
• It happens that you categorically disagree with criticism and there are reasons for this. It is worth trying to calmly convey your point of view to your opponent, justifying it or emphasizing the fact that this is your personal opinion.
• Always remain calm and calm during a conversation. Don’t let your interlocutor think that he has suppressed you in some way; speak in a calm, elevated tone of voice.

It is worth emphasizing that the feeling of wounded pride is not just some kind of negative reaction to negative criticism and the like. In fact, this is also a protective function of the human EGO. It concerns purely the internal problems of the individual, and is also considered feedback from the outside world. That is, it should be understood that insults based on pride are not some unique character trait, but only a reaction to an external psychological stimulus. Such a person becomes completely incapable of accepting criticism from the outside, self-analysis, and also prone to inappropriate behavior.

Male pride

In principle, a blow to pride is a painful event for any person, although some people know how to cope with it, so everyone has their own reaction to negative external psychological factors. In particular, male pride, unlike female one, is more pronounced, so the reaction of the stronger sex is much more acute. Because of this, they often become somewhat inadequate, uncontrollable and even aggressive. In order to avoid such situations in family life, you should learn to smooth out the “sharp corners” that arise, quickly resolve conflict situations and, if necessary, make concessions. It is very useful to find out what most often leads to irritation in men, and what actions on the part of a woman they simply cannot forgive.

Most representatives of the fair sex rely too much on their impunity, perceiving it as the right to say anything to men, without fear of incurring responsibility, and to achieve their goals in any available way. It is believed that a loving husband is able to forgive his soul mate everything. In principle, this is so, especially if such “antics” do not exceed certain limits. But at some point, a situation suddenly arises when a man becomes tough, is no longer under control and is able to greatly surprise his wife. That is why any woman should feel a certain line that should not be crossed in a relationship with a man under any circumstances.

Of course, first of all it is worth noting female infidelity. Let us emphasize that betrayal by a spouse, as a rule, for a man is completely different from his own betrayal. For example, if the spouse himself cheated, then he can quite rightly note for himself that his betrayal was only a need for intimacy, so his wife still remains his only and dear one. At the same time, it is often believed that betrayal on the part of a woman is more associated with feelings, based on sympathy, the need for affection and love. That is, the wife’s betrayal is a direct hint to the man that she no longer treats him as her only one, so the relationship is completely different.

So betrayal greatly hurts a man’s pride. There are cases when a man is able to forgive betrayal, but in the future he is still unlikely to forget the very fact of what happened, so the relationship will never be the same again.

Also, many men cannot stand situations where a woman takes the leading position in their relationship. Any man, no matter what he is, always wants to feel supported, necessary, irreplaceable. If a woman takes on the role of mistress of the situation every time a difficult situation arises, this greatly affects his pride. The same goes for comparing a man to someone else who is better than him.

Manipulation in intimate relationships is another easy way to hurt a man’s pride. All sorts of excuses in bed like a sore head and a bad mood, especially if they are too frequent, are just a reason to push him to cheat. Demanding that you fulfill your whims and buy gifts for sex is an even worse idea.

You can easily make a man angry if you put him in a negative light in front of friends or even close relatives. Representatives of the stronger sex want to be wealthy and reliable, almost ideal and irreplaceable for their companions, so ridicule or overly aggressive criticism from the woman they love is an excessively painful blow for them.

There are also a number of women’s actions and habits that easily irritate men. These also include endless chatter on the phone, gossip, aimless running around stores... Men can easily turn a blind eye to many of these things and not focus on them. However, you should not abuse this.

Women's pride

What, in turn, is the difference between a woman’s self-esteem and a man’s? First of all, psychologists note the fact that it is often unreasonably high, so it can be very easy to offend it, and this can be done quite suddenly by uttering just one “wrong” word. At the same time, a woman, being wounded, can turn into a real “monster”. They harbor resentment and revenge for a long time, are capable of being sarcastic, lying, showing off, and stooping to banal insults.

At the same time, it is very easy to hurt the pride of any woman with adultery. Not all of them are able to turn a blind eye to such things, no matter how men try to justify their search for sex “on the side” and make their infidelities seem less significant than the infidelity of the woman herself.

In most cases, according to statistics, the initiators of divorces and breakups are women themselves. At the same time, betrayal, one of the most common actions leading to this, occurs on the basis of a decrease in emotional ties in the family. Very often, it is wounded pride that pushes a woman to take such a decisive step.

If there was cheating on the part of the husband. And the wife finds out about this, she is faced with a very difficult question: come to terms with this, learn to live and forgive, try to maintain the old relationship with the person who has always been near and dear? Or should you listen to your pride and nip everything in the bud? Psychologists recommend that women try to take a neutral position, relax, and not get excited, so that in the future they can make the right decision from their point of view, and not act out of the blue.

Can a man forgive? Psychologists with thick stacks of tests answer positively, folk wisdom says the opposite. But there are also romantics, according to whom a man filled with love is ready to endure any tests offered by an inventive lady of his heart. How are things really going? Is there something that men never forgive women, or is it possible to test the patience of the stronger sex endlessly with a certain approach?

Why is it harder for men to forgive?

The answer lies in the paradoxical structure of male memory. The man evaluates all the misdeeds of those around him according to his internal scale of acceptability and enters them into an imaginary diary, while pretending that nothing terrible happened. When those around him are almost sure that he has reconciled or forgiven, the space for notes suddenly runs out and the man puts an end to the relationship. At such a moment, it may seem that some mere trifle, like an inappropriately spoken word or a sidelong glance, led to the breakup - but who can know for sure how many records of misconduct have already been made before this?

How a man reacts to insult

1. He forgives the culprit, draws certain conclusions and forgets about the offense - provided that it is not repeated. This is only possible if the troublemaker sincerely repents and asks for forgiveness.
2. He doesn't forgive, but under the pressure of circumstances puts a good face on a bad game. This option is the most difficult: for fear of losing family, children, work or the respect of others, resentment is hidden deep inside for a certain time - and the longer negative feelings are suppressed, the more negative energy accumulates.
3. It's as if he forgives but I don’t intend to continue the relationship. Such forgiveness without forgiveness is generally not typical for men, since it represents a pronounced cognitive dissonance: if the culprit is forgiven, why break up?
4. He can't forgive and leaves for this reason. This happens when that very last point is reached, but the victim will remember for a long time the unavenged insult and the unspoken last word.

Fortunately, for women in relationships, there are not many critical mistakes that lead to an immediate breakup. For example, a man in love, even if he expresses dissatisfaction, is not too offended by:

• minor shortcomings such as lack of culinary talent and passion for order, peculiar taste in clothing or manner of communication;
• excessive communication of the lady with her friends, their awareness of some intimate details of life together;
• a woman’s passion for communication, constant conversations on the phone or correspondence;
• shopping and spontaneous purchases - provided that they do not cause irreparable damage to the family budget.

Test of strength

Everything would be fine if it weren’t for the subconscious desire characteristic of the weaker sex to constantly test feelings for strength, look for the boundaries of what is permissible and test a man’s patience. Science considers this a kind of test of dominance: a woman is well aware of what provokes her partner’s dissatisfaction, but in this simple way she checks whether the chosen one has lost the status of a leader, whether he has lost interest in her, whether it’s time to look for a replacement for him?
The danger lies in the fact that each man has his own, individual boundary. A woman, having become a little accustomed to relationships with the stronger sex, can draw erroneous conclusions and assume that she already knows, which men do not forgive, that all partners have equal strength and are ready to endure approximately the same psychological pressure. Therefore, at some point, the boundary of what is permissible is crossed easily and imperceptibly, and the reaction that follows does not bring pleasure to anyone.

16 main women's mistakes

So, men are ready to close their eyes to many things. However, will forgiveness follow this, or will they shake off the dust from the imaginary diary and make another entry in it, thereby bringing the natural end closer? Below we list the main women's mistakes and blunders, for which the chances of remaining unforgiven are very high.

1. Public criticism

The thing is extremely fragile. Public criticism, ridicule or discussion of shortcomings in front of strangers deal a significant blow to him, especially when it comes to masculinity or intellectual abilities. Men react no less painfully when a woman openly takes the opposite side in an argument or conflict with others. For the stronger sex, which is in eternal confrontation with the outside world, this is akin to betrayal, which men forget, but do not forgive.

2. Reproaches and accusations of insolvency

Daily utterance of complaints, constant dissatisfaction or accusations of incompetence do not have an immediate effect, but they destroy the foundation of the relationship stone by stone. Unfortunately, women regularly try to educate their partner to change his actions and correct his behavior. In such an environment, representatives of the stronger sex lose self-confidence, become passive and give up any ambitions. It is logical that the sincerity of the feelings of a woman who allows herself such behavior is also called into question: men run away from such relationships at the first opportunity.

Any man, deep down in his soul, wants to believe that he is the best sexual partner in the world, and a woman chose him for this reason. However, this faith is even more fragile than a man’s pride - a carelessly spoken word or deliberate criticism of his masculine strength not only instantly and completely repels a man, but can also lead to serious dysfunction of a psychological nature. Humiliation of male dignity is something that a man will never forgive a woman, since the blow turns out to be so deep and painful that it is useless to even ask for leniency.

4. Denial of intimacy

There are thousands of reasons why women refuse their partners: upbringing, differences in temperaments, blackmail and even banal everyday fatigue play a role here. In addition, a woman sometimes declares her attitude towards intimacy as a marital duty, for the fulfillment of which it is absolutely not necessary to feel any desire. However, the conclusions are always clear: the man is convinced that he is not able to give a woman pleasure, that he no longer suits her as a lover. Unfortunately for relationships, replacements are sometimes found very quickly.

5. Comparison with others

Unfavorable comparisons with other people are much more difficult for men than for women, especially when it comes to ex-partners. A man subconsciously wants to be for his lady not only the only one, but also the smartest, the strongest and the most successful. Of course, he understands that he is very far from ideal, but he prefers not to hear about it, especially from the lips of the woman he loves. If the intimate side of the relationship is compared, the reaction intensifies many times over, and the consequences become unpredictable.

6. Commercialism

Despite the universal cult of money and wealth, the stronger sex is extremely cautious about any manifestations of a woman’s material interest in a relationship - these are things that men cannot turn a blind eye to. If a woman shows that her interest is caused by the wealth of the applicant, the presence of the attributes of a wealthy person, that her priority is to receive various types of benefits, then not only love, but also any sympathy on the part of the man will immediately disappear. In addition, a man who has consciously “bought” a woman’s company will have a corresponding attitude towards the “purchase”.

7. Jealousy and suspicion

Uncontrollable and unreasonable is a good way to create constant tension in the family. Men generally do not like baseless accusations and attacks on personal freedom. If they are also supported by round-the-clock monitoring, secret checking of the computer, examination of the phone, the contents of pockets and second-by-second checks of the daily schedule with control interrogations, the end of such a relationship is near. Some ladies, playing scouts, even engage in deliberate provocations, create fake accounts on social networks and persuade their friends to give a man a “test of fidelity.”

8. Manipulation and pressure

According to the point of view imposed by modern media resources, a woman is intellectually and spiritually a more highly developed being than a man. Some ladies perceive this as a guide to action and try to control their partner with the help of primitive manipulations - they develop a guilt complex in him, put him in front of difficult choices, force him to apologize in any situation, and feel inferior as the source of all troubles and misfortunes. Wanting to solely own a man, a woman can force him to give up hobbies, interests, hobbies and even friendships with old comrades.

9. Insulting his relatives

Men like to identify themselves with different social groups. They perceive their relatives in much the same way - as a single family, identifying themselves as its member. Therefore, any attacks and ridicule against a second cousin by a man will be perceived by the man as a personal insult. Of course, relatives are not chosen, and sometimes quite tense situations can arise between them, about which the man speaks unflatteringly. However, if he himself, for example, considers criticism of his own parents acceptable, then he never grants such a right to a woman.

10. Neglect of children

It just so happens that in our society it is mainly women who raise children. However, despite the supposedly indifferent attitude of fathers towards their own descendants, a man invariably recognizes himself as the head and protector of the family, trusting a woman with the most valuable thing he has. In any truly dangerous situation, he will rush to save the child without hesitation - but can a man forgive a woman if she herself becomes the source of this danger? There are often situations when a baby suffers due to the inattention, irresponsibility or lack of foresight of the mother - what man can calmly look at this?

11. Stupidity and narrow-mindedness

The myth that men prefer stupid women has long been debunked. The average confident representative of the stronger sex will prefer a wise and far-sighted life partner. They don’t like stupid and narrow-minded people, although they do not hesitate to use them - as long as they have enough patience to endure the inappropriate actions of a narrow-minded person. Everything becomes much worse if a man who has lost his vigilance finds himself connected to such a lady with a family, children and a mortgage - feeling cheated, he sometimes begins to take revenge, causing trouble for himself and those around him.

12. Lack of ability to forgive

A man prefers to believe that a woman is completely devoted to him and is ready to forgive any mistakes or failures. However, as we know, women do not forget insults - therefore, regularly reminding a man about his moments of weakness at every opportunity is used as an argument for discussion. A man disoriented by such behavior, confident that he has long been forgiven, does not understand what is happening and soon begins to see in the woman not a partner, but an adversary.

13. Neglect and superiority

A normal man will always strive to become the head of the family, regardless of his career success and social status. By questioning his authority, neglecting his opinion, a woman makes a man doubt his merits and abilities. The situation worsens if a woman's attempt to take a dominant role is ostentatiously justified by her higher salary, successful career growth, or physical indicators. Only a few, insecure individuals are able to calmly perceive a constant reminder of female superiority.

14. Betrayal

Betrayal should not be equated with treason, although it often accompanies it. By accidentally or consciously discussing family secrets with strangers (with the same lover, for example), ridiculing a man’s dreams, hopes or hobbies in conversations with other people, a woman thereby shows that she does not value the trust placed in her or the relationship in general. There is no doubt whether men forgive a woman’s betrayal: any of them instantly moves away, withdraws into himself or simply leaves, since without trusting communication and mutual understanding, further coexistence makes no sense.

15. Lies and duplicity

A lie also entails a loss of trust, regardless of its scale: a man naturally assumes that by regularly deceiving him in small things, a woman is also capable of a big lie associated with infidelity or betrayal. The representative of the stronger sex is also wary of dual behavior: having discovered that a lady is telling him one thing to his face and something completely different behind his back, a man will not even try to establish close relationships, since these involve a confidential exchange of thoughts, dreams and experiences.

16. Treason

It would be hard to find a more controversial and relationship-damaging mistake. On the one hand, studies by British scientists have shown that 92% of respondents are ready to forgive infidelity, and on the other hand, we are talking about European men with suppressed self-identification and an artificially reduced level of masculinity. Domestic representatives of the stronger sex react to betrayal much more strongly.

It should be noted that the concept of betrayal is individual for everyone. For some it is enough, and others are ready to forgive “accidental” physical betrayal, but do not accept mental betrayal. In any case, a man’s desire to be the best and the only one in the eyes of his companion suddenly collides with the realization that the woman has found someone better. Realizing that the existing relationship has absolutely no meaning for her, the wounded representative of the stronger sex, even if he is able to come to terms with this fact under the pressure of circumstances, will never return to his former openness and trust.

Love forgives everything

The stereotype about the endless generosity and patience of a man in love is quite dangerous, since a woman convinced of its truth may think that she is allowed everything in a relationship. Undoubtedly, in the initial stages a man is ready to endure any test, but who can say that a few years later in a similar situation he will not take out his diary and re-read the entries made long ago?
On the other hand, the situation is not at all so fatal: normal men tend to forgive in response to a sincere and conscious request, and the list of truly deadly sins is not so long. It is enough to avoid what men never forgive women - and two lovers can always cope with the rest.

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Self-love is an overestimation of one’s strengths, which is simultaneously combined with a jealous attitude towards one’s own personality and is expressed by strong sensitivity to one’s opinion about oneself. Self-love is noted in every individual, but is expressed to varying degrees. Overly proud individuals are overly sensitive to criticism and are incredibly worried when they are denied something. Injured pride can develop into fully conscious or unconscious revenge.

Hurt pride

Each of the individuals is a person, represents something, has unique character traits and worldview. This is an absolute and indisputable fact. And yet human psychology includes some points that unite all people. Such features include pride, which is one of the characteristics of human character.

Is self-love good or bad? Psychologists give the following meaning to self-esteem: an individual’s defense of his social value, as well as relevance. In other words, self-love defines a character trait due to which an individual becomes smarter, more attractive, grows above himself, and maintains value in society.

Is self-love a good incentive to improve your life? Everyone will answer this question for themselves. Some are inclined to believe that self-love is good, others that it is an illusion of one’s own superiority, leading to hyperbolization of one’s own “I”. One thing is clear that each individual has his own personal motivation and without respect, as well as self-love, intellectual, spiritual and physical growth is impossible. And negative statements, judgments, and indications of shortcomings negatively affect the personality, hurting self-esteem.

Each individual reacts to criticism differently: some feel guilty, some become aggressive, some have decreased self-esteem, some get very irritated, but in any case, criticism does not fall on deaf ears and deals a blow to self-esteem .

Not everyone can accept criticism with dignity due to their individual characteristics and character traits, but it is important to be able to correctly perceive constructive comments. If it so happens that a person has been given an unreasonable insult, then psychologists advise accepting it as a fait accompli, drawing conclusions and moving on with life.

Humans are very sensitive to social approval. When he is praised, he grows in his own eyes; when he is criticized, it is the other way around. Proud, he builds a certain scale of values ​​in his head and tries to achieve it with all his might. This is good when a person strives for goals that are useful for himself and society, and it is destructive behavior when an individual deliberately takes the path of degradation. It must be remembered that pride itself acts as a catalyst for actions and desires, but not the main reason.

It is sometimes very easy to offend a proud person. To do this, it is enough to say just one word. In this case, there is heightened self-esteem, when a person exclusively concentrates attention on satisfying his needs and desires; by and large, he is indifferent to those around him. Such excessive self-esteem leads to egocentrism.

The desire to be first is considered normal, healthy pride. A physically and mentally healthy person is always endowed with this quality. In this case, it is motivation for professional and personal success.

Vulnerable pride is observed in women, so you should not intentionally offend them, since you can forever lose your good relationship with them. Women react sharply to comments about their appearance, way of thinking, and behavior. In adulthood, they react especially sensitively to words of flattery and compliments, so it is sometimes better to remain silent than to express a lie. It is important for the fair sex to feel calm and comfortable, so it is better to refrain from directly expressing shortcomings. If such a need exists, then it is better to express it in private. In this case, your hurt pride will not suffer much, and you will maintain normal relationships.

Wounded pride

The bad thing about wounded pride is that the individual perceives critical remarks addressed to him painfully, and begins to treat people with suspicion. It is very difficult for a proud individual to learn to control himself and competently perceive criticism addressed to him. No matter how mildly criticism is presented, it is always difficult for people to perceive, and often individuals take it too close to their hearts, especially if the critic is inexperienced or the criticism is not constructive. Not many people master the art of constructive criticism, so they perceive it doubly very difficult and painful.

How to properly respond to criticism if it so happens that the individual has become its object? If a person has been criticized, then, first of all, he should convince himself that he really has something to criticize him for, otherwise he will behave aggressively. At the same time, if a person recognizes the right of other individuals to criticize him, then he can also count on the recognition of certain rights for him. For example, the right to be taken into account, not to humiliate his dignity, not to extend criticism to the individual. An individual also has the right to demand that criticism be made only in a private conversation and not in the presence of strangers and colleagues.

We offer some tips on how a person should behave in such a situation:

If the essence of the criticism is not clear, then it is necessary to ask the person who is criticizing to clarify what he specifically means;

It is important for a person to learn to separate the content of criticism from the form; if a person is not satisfied with the form, then one can answer this way: “the criticism is fair - I admit this, but I would like it not to become personal”;

If a person does not agree with criticism, then he should say so, mentioning expressions that will emphasize that this point of view is his. For example, “personally, I think differently” or “everything was wrong”;

Always maintain eye contact and speak in a calm, cheerful voice, without raising your tone.

What does self-love mean? Wounded, sick pride is not just an awareness of personal negative aspects of one’s character, it is also a defensive reaction of the EGO to internal problems, as well as feedback on the world around us. As a result, with wounded pride, there is resentment towards those people who inflicted it. Offended pride is not a character trait, but acts, as already mentioned, as a defensive reaction of a person who has been offended. Often such an individual becomes impervious to criticism, becomes inadequate and incapable of self-analysis. This happens because the individual’s EGO builds a strong shell around its painful core, which is felt like a dull aching pain in the soul. Provoking factors in this case are lack of love, dissatisfaction with life, dissatisfaction with the reactions of others and with oneself. Constant does not allow a person to live fully. Pointing out a shortcoming or expressing criticism to a person with heightened pride only provokes in him, and the consequence of such painful pride is inappropriate behavior.

Male pride

A blow to pride offends any person, but in comparison with women’s pride, in men it is more acute, as a result of which they become unpredictable, uncontrollable and inadequate. In order not to hurt a man’s pride in family life, a woman needs to learn to smooth out rough edges, be able to give in, and not touch pain points. It also doesn’t hurt to find out what often irritates men the most, as well as what women’s actions they generally cannot forgive.

Many women perceive the feeling of a certain impunity as the right to say and do whatever they want, as well as to achieve their goals by any means. A loving man can forgive a woman a lot if it does not go beyond certain limits. When one day such an often flexible and soft man ceases to be controllable, he greatly surprises his beloved half. Therefore, it is very important for a woman to maintain a certain line in a relationship, which cannot be crossed under any circumstances. So what will a man never forgive? A man's pride will be very much hurt by a woman's betrayal, which will be very difficult for a man to forgive. For men, their own betrayal is not comparable to that of a woman. They do not attach any importance to their betrayal, since they attribute it to a simple need for intimacy. After betrayal, they continue to consider their woman as their dearest. But with female infidelity, everything is different. Often, female infidelity is not accidental and in most cases there is sympathy, passion, search, as well as the need for affection and tenderness. By cheating, a woman makes it clear to her man that her relationship with him means nothing to her. In the case of betrayal, a man’s pride suffers greatly and, even if a man forgives, then he is unlikely to ever be able to forget the fact of betrayal and the relationship will no longer be the same as it was before.

Men cannot forgive women if they give themselves the dominant role in relationships and also put themselves above them. Whatever a man is, he wants to feel like he’s in charge and to be a protector, as well as a support. A man wants to feel more confident and stronger, even if a woman earns more and knows how to make decisions and implement them. A woman should spare a man’s pride and not take on the role of mistress of the situation in everything. Sooner or later, a man will not be able to withstand the moral burden, will oppose this and leave for someone with whom he will be confident and strong.

To maintain a relationship with a man, a woman should never compare him with others. He wants to be the best and the only one for a woman, so comparison with others humiliates him, gives rise to complexes and irritation, which can get out of control.

A woman should not emphasize her role as a housewife in the house and loudly express her husband’s shortcomings, as well as the advantages of other men. In order not to hurt a man’s pride, it is necessary not to demonstrate your intelligence and knowledge to the detriment of the image of your beloved man.

Men also do not like attempts to manipulate intimate relationships. Refusal of intimacy under the far-fetched pretext of headache and fatigue is one of the ways to push a man to cheat. And demanding the fulfillment of whims, gifts for intimacy and thus manipulating looks dishonest.

After getting married, many women relax and only try to look good before leaving the house. Over time, the husband wonders why his wife no longer wants to please him? Even if he doesn’t show it, you must not forget about it.

How to hurt a man's pride? A man's pride can be greatly hurt when a man is shown in a funny light and for him this means a lack of recognition of his worth. Women should be careful with ridicule directed at men. This is especially true for intimate opportunities, family members, appearance, and the ability to earn money.

Men do not want to “dance to a woman’s tune”, do not tolerate cliches and monotony in behavior, and cannot tolerate a commanding tone from a woman. These listed points can forever discourage men from communicating with women. Male nature will not tolerate imposing stereotypes of behavior, and will not try to fulfill all the expectations.

In order not to hurt a man’s pride, a woman needs to change behavioral stereotypes, say less “that’s how it’s supposed to be,” “that’s how everyone does it,” and try to be unpredictable. Men cannot stand a showdown, they prefer actions to words and rely on impulse, instinct, and long conversations cause irritation and can lead to a breakup. Therefore, women should not drag a man into a showdown.

A man will never tolerate his chosen one's flirting with another man. Such behavior by a woman will anger the man, and his pride will be greatly hurt.

How else to hurt a man's pride? There are still some habits of women that greatly irritate men. These include endless telephone conversations, endless TV series, a thirst for gossip, aimless shopping trips, and the habit of buying everything. Men turn a blind eye to many things and try not to focus attention or notice, but there is no need to abuse this. It is necessary to be able to stop in time, and also think about whether it is worth getting on your husband’s nerves, leading to irritation, indignation and displeasure. To maintain peace and tranquility in the family, and also for a man to respect and love a woman, it is necessary to respect and spare his pride.

Women's pride

Women's self-esteem is often so unreasonably inflated that it can be offended by anything and the fair sex immediately turns into a disgusting creature. A woman with hurt pride begins to be sarcastic, show off, and offend her interlocutor with words. Often a woman’s behavior is not controlled and she is not aware of what she is doing. This condition is very difficult to get rid of. The woman is haunted by a desire for revenge and anger in her eyes. Minor grievances and misunderstandings provoke an increase in tension in relationships and worsen interpersonal relationships. Therefore, in order to maintain a trusting, sincere, happy relationship, a woman needs to overcome, no matter how difficult it is, her hurt pride.

Psychologists note that a blow to pride is easily dealt by male infidelity. Not all women can turn a blind eye to numerous male infidelities. And no matter how hard experts try to explain the reasons for male infidelity, to show the driving motives so that women do not react to it so emotionally and painfully, nothing works.

Psychologists note that betrayal occurs as a result of weakening emotional ties between spouses, and it makes the hidden conflict obvious. According to statistics, it is the woman today who in many cases initiates divorce. A woman’s pride pushes her to take such a decisive step. Before a divorce, a woman decides for herself what is more important to her: personal pride or self-control, love, patience for a person who until recently was close and dear. Women are often indignant: why do psychologists, after their husband’s betrayal, urge them to endure it?! It turns out that the wife should, when meeting her husband from work, be charming, feed him delicious dinners, provide leisure time and also take care of the children.

And if the spouse suddenly finds out about the betrayal, then she needs to calm down, tune in to a neutral wave, visit the hairdresser, hum fashionable songs, take care of her wardrobe in order to remind her of her attractiveness. In such a situation, not every woman will want or be able to behave this way. That's why most women choose divorce. At the same time, many women are outraged by the fact that psychologists do not encourage a husband who has learned about his wife’s infidelity to take on household chores, try to regain his attractiveness, give gifts to his wife and catch her mood. As if on purpose, the wives believe, the difference between male and female psychology is emphasized.

Undoubtedly, it is necessary to take into account male psychology in family life, since nature has endowed the stronger sex with emotional stability and will, and all methods of re-education on the part of women often encounter resistance. Many wives would do well to use their ability to adapt, patience and affection, rather than go ahead. Many husbands cannot withstand the pressure in this situation, and cheating is often an infantile attempt at self-affirmation in the eyes of another woman. And if you begin to reproach the unfaithful spouse for immorality and selfishness, then it is only possible to push him away completely. Of course, one must take into account both the stranger and one’s own pride and not allow it to play out to its heightened limits. Therefore, perhaps, nature has endowed women with artistry, spiritual subtlety, deep warmth, the ability to see with the soul, understand, pity and empathize.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"